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Part 1
The Nellie, a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor without a flutter of the sails, and was at rest.
The flood had made, the wind was nearly calm, and being bound down the river, the only thing
for it was to come to and wait for the turn of the tide.
The sea-reach of the Thames stretched before us like the beginning of an interminable waterway.
In the offing the sea and the sky were welded together without a joint, and in the luminous space
the tanned sails of the barges drifting up with the tide seemed to stand still in red clusters of canvas
sharply peaked, with gleams of varnished sprits. A haze rested on the low shores that ran out to sea
in vanishing flatness. The air was dark above Gravesend, and farther back still seemed condensed
into a mournful gloom, brooding motionless over the biggest, and the greatest, town on earth.
The Director of Companies was our captain and our host. We four affectionately watched his back
as he stood in the bows looking to seaward. On the whole river there was nothing that looked half
so nautical. He resembled a pilot, which to a seaman is trustworthiness personified. It was difficult
to realize his work was not out there in the luminous estuary, but behind him, within the brooding gloom.
Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding
our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant
of each other's yarns—and even convictions. The Lawyer—the best of old fellows—had,
because of his many years and many virtues, the only cushion on deck, and was lying on the only rug.
The Accountant had brought out already a box of dominoes, and was toying architecturally with the bones.
Marlow sat cross-legged right aft, leaning against the mizzen-mast. He had sunken cheeks, a yellow complexion,
a straight back, an ascetic aspect, and, with his arms dropped, the palms of hands outwards, resembled
an idol. The director, satisfied the anchor had good hold, made his way aft and sat down amongst us.
We exchanged a few words lazily. Afterwards there was silence on board the yacht. For some reason
or other we did not begin that game of dominoes. We felt meditative, and fit for nothing but placid staring.
The day was ending in a serenity of still and exquisite brilliance. The water shone pacifically; the sky,
without a speck, was a benign immensity of unstained light; the very mist on the Essex marsh
was like a gauzy and radiant fabric, hung from the wooded rises inland, and draping the low shores
in diaphanous folds. Only the gloom to the west, brooding over the upper reaches, became more sombre
every minute, as if angered by the approach of the sun.
And at last, in its curved and imperceptible fall, the sun sank low, and from glowing white changed
to a dull red without rays and without heat, as if about to go out suddenly, stricken to death by the touch
of that gloom brooding over a crowd of men.
Forthwith a change came over the waters, and the serenity became less brilliant but more profound.
The old river in its broad reach rested unruffled at the decline of day, after ages of good service done
to the race that peopled its banks, spread out in the tranquil dignity of a waterway leading to
the uttermost ends of the earth. We looked at the venerable stream not in the vivid flush
of a short day that comes and departs for ever, but in the august light of abiding memories.
And indeed nothing is easier for a man who has, as the phrase goes, "followed
the sea" with reverence and affection, that to evoke the great spirit of the past upon
the lower reaches of the Thames. The tidal current runs to and fro in its unceasing service,
crowded with memories of men and ships it had borne to the rest of home or to the battles of the sea.
It had known and served all the men of whom the nation is proud, from Sir Francis Drake to Sir John Franklin,
knights all, titled and untitled—the great knights-errant of the sea. It had borne all the ships whose names
are like jewels flashing in the night of time, from the Golden Hind returning with her rotund flanks full of treasure,
to be visited by the Queen's Highness and thus pass out of the gigantic tale, to the Erebus and Terror,
bound on other conquests—and that never returned. It had known the ships and the men.
They had sailed from Deptford, from Greenwich, from Erith—the adventurers and the settlers;
kings' ships and the ships of men on 'Change; captains, admirals, the dark "interlopers"
of the Eastern trade, and the commissioned "generals" of East India fleets. Hunters for gold
or pursuers of fame, they all had gone out on that stream, bearing the sword, and often the torch,
messengers of the might within the land, bearers of a spark from the sacred fire. What greatness
had not floated on the ebb of that river into the mystery of an unknown earth! ... The dreams of men,
the seed of commonwealths, the germs of empires.
The sun set; the dusk fell on the stream, and lights began to appear along the shore. The Chapman
light-house, a three-legged thing erect on a mud-flat, shone strongly. Lights of ships moved in
the fairway—a great stir of lights going up and going down. And farther west on the upper reaches
the place of the monstrous town was still marked ominously on the sky, a brooding gloom in sunshine,
a lurid glare under the stars.
"And this also," said Marlow suddenly, "has been one of the dark places of the earth."
He was the only man of us who still "followed the sea." The worst that could be said of him
was that he did not represent his class. He was a seaman, but he was a wanderer, too, while most seamen
lead, if one may so express it, a sedentary life. Their minds are of the stay-at-home order, and their home
is always with them—the ship; and so is their country—the sea. One ship is very much
like another, and the sea is always the same. In the immutability of their surroundings the foreign shores,
the foreign faces, the changing immensity of life, glide past, veiled not by a sense of mystery
but by a slightly disdainful ignorance; for there is nothing mysterious to a seaman unless
it be the sea itself, which is the mistress of his existence and as inscrutable as Destiny.
For the rest, after his hours of work, a casual stroll or a casual spree on shore suffices
to unfold for him the secret of a whole continent, and generally he finds the secret not worth knowing.
The yarns of seamen have a direct simplicity, the whole meaning of which lies within the shell of a cracked nut.
But Marlow was not typical (if his propensity to spin yarns be excepted), and to him the meaning of an episode
was not inside like a kernel but outside, enveloping the tale which brought it out only as a glow brings out
a haze, in the likeness of one of these misty halos that sometimes are made visible by the spectral illumination
of moonshine.
His remark did not seem at all surprising. It was just like Marlow. It was accepted in silence.
No one took the trouble to grunt even; and presently he said, very slow—"I was thinking
of very old times, when the Romans first came here, nineteen hundred years ago—the other day...
Light came out of this river since—you say Knights? Yes; but it is like a running blaze on a plain,
like a flash of lightning in the clouds. We live in the flicker—may it last as long as the old earth
keeps rolling! But darkness was here yesterday. Imagine the feelings of a commander of a fine—what
d'ye call 'em?—trireme in the Mediterranean, ordered suddenly to the north; run overland across the Gauls
in a hurry; put in charge of one of these craft the legionaries—a wonderful lot of handy men
they must have been, too—used to build, apparently by the hundred, in a month or two,
if we may believe what we read. Imagine him here—the very end of the world, a sea
the colour of lead, a sky the colour of smoke, a kind of ship about as rigid as a concertina—and
going up this river with stores, or orders, or what you like. Sand-banks, marshes, forests, savages,—precious
little to eat fit for a civilized man, nothing but Thames water to drink. No Falernian wine here, no going ashore.
Here and there a military camp lost in a wilderness, like a needle in a bundle of hay—cold, fog,
tempests, disease, exile, and death—death skulking in the air, in the water, in the bush.
They must have been dying like flies here. Oh, yes—he did it. Did it very well, too, no doubt,
and without thinking much about it either, except afterwards to brag of what he had gone through
in his time, perhaps. They were men enough to face the darkness. And perhaps he was cheered
by keeping his eye on a chance of promotion to the fleet at Ravenna by and by, if he had good friends
in Rome and survived the awful climate. Or think of a decent young citizen in a toga—perhaps
too much dice, you know—coming out here in the train of some prefect, or tax-gatherer, or trader even,
to mend his fortunes. Land in a swamp, march through the woods, and in some inland post feel the savagery,
the utter savagery, had closed round him—all that mysterious life of the wilderness that stirs in the forest,
in the jungles, in the hearts of wild men. There's no initiation either into such mysteries. He has to live
in the midst of the incomprehensible, which is also detestable. And it has a fascination, too, that goes to work
upon him. The fascination of the abomination—you know, imagine the growing regrets, the longing
to escape, the powerless disgust, the surrender, the hate."
He paused.
"Mind," he began again, lifting one arm from the elbow, the palm of the hand outwards,
so that, with his legs folded before him, he had the pose of a Buddha preaching in European clothes
and without a lotus-flower—"Mind, none of us would feel exactly like this. What saves us
is efficiency—the devotion to efficiency. But these chaps were not much account, really.
They were no colonists; their administration was merely a squeeze, and nothing more, I suspect.
They were conquerors, and for that you want only brute force—nothing to boast of,
when you have it, since your strength is just an accident arising from the weakness of others.
They grabbed what they could get for the sake of what was to be got. It was just robbery with violence,
aggravated murder on a great scale, and men going at it blind—as is very proper for those who
tackle a darkness. The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have
a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it
too much. What redeems it is the idea only. An idea at the back of it; not a sentimental pretence
but an idea; and an unselfish belief in the idea—something you can set up, and bow down before,
and offer a sacrifice to..."
He broke off. Flames glided in the river, small green flames, red flames, white flames, pursuing,
overtaking, joining, crossing each other—then separating slowly or hastily. The traffic
of the great city went on in the deepening night upon the sleepless river. We looked on,
waiting patiently—there was nothing else to do till the end of the flood; but it was only
after a long silence, when he said, in a hesitating voice, "I suppose you fellows remember
I did once turn fresh-water sailor for a bit," that we knew we were fated, before the ebb
began to run, to hear about one of Marlow's inconclusive experiences.
"I don't want to bother you much with what happened to me personally," he began,
showing in this remark the weakness of many tellers of tales who seem so often unaware
of what their audience would like best to hear; "yet to understand the effect of it on me
you ought to know how I got out there, what I saw, how I went up that river to the place where
I first met the poor chap. It was the farthest point of navigation and the culminating point of my experience.
It seemed somehow to throw a kind of light on everything about me—and into my thoughts.
It was sombre enough, too—and pitiful—not extraordinary in any way—not
very clear either. No, not very clear. And yet it seemed to throw a kind of light.
"I had then, as you remember, just returned to London after a lot of Indian Ocean, Pacific,
China Seas—a regular dose of the East—six years or so, and I was loafing about,
hindering you fellows in your work and invading your homes, just as though I had got a heavenly mission
to civilize you. It was very fine for a time, but after a bit I did get tired of resting. Then I began to look
for a ship—I should think the hardest work on earth. But the ships wouldn't even look at me.
And I got tired of that game, too.
"Now when I was a little chap I had a passion for maps. I would look for hours at South America,
or Africa, or Australia, and lose myself in all the glories of exploration. At that time there were many blank
spaces on the earth, and when I saw one that looked particularly inviting on a map (but they all look that)
I would put my finger on it and say, 'When I grow up I will go there.' The North Pole was one of these places,
I remember. Well, I haven't been there yet, and shall not try now. The glamour's off. Other places were scattered
about the hemispheres. I have been in some of them, and... well, we won't talk about that. But there was
one yet—the biggest, the most blank, so to speak—that I had a hankering after.
"True, by this time it was not a blank space any more. It had got filled since my boyhood with rivers
and lakes and names. It had ceased to be a blank space of delightful mystery—a white patch
for a boy to dream gloriously over. It had become a place of darkness. But there was in it one river especially,
a mighty big river, that you could see on the map, resembling an immense snake uncoiled, with its head
in the sea, its body at rest curving afar over a vast country, and its tail lost in the depths of the land.
And as I looked at the map of it in a shop-window, it fascinated me as a snake would a bird—a
silly little bird. Then I remembered there was a big concern, a Company for trade on that river. Dash it all!
I thought to myself, they can't trade without using some kind of craft on that lot of fresh water—steamboats!
Why shouldn't I try to get charge of one? I went on along Fleet Street, but could not shake off the idea.
The snake had charmed me.
"You understand it was a Continental concern, that Trading society; but I have a lot of relations
living on the Continent, because it's cheap and not so nasty as it looks, they say.
"I am sorry to own I began to worry them. This was already a fresh departure for me. I was not used
to get things that way, you know. I always went my own road and on my own legs where I had a mind to go.
I wouldn't have believed it of myself; but, then—you see—I felt somehow I must get there
by hook or by crook. So I worried them. The men said 'My dear fellow,' and did nothing. Then—would
you believe it?—I tried the women. I, Charlie Marlow, set the women to work—to get a job.
Heavens! Well, you see, the notion drove me. I had an aunt, a dear enthusiastic soul. She wrote: 'It will be
delightful. I am ready to do anything, anything for you. It is a glorious idea. I know the wife of a very high
personage in the Administration, and also a man who has lots of influence with,' etc. She was determined
to make no end of fuss to get me appointed skipper of a river steamboat, if such was my fancy.
"I got my appointment—of course; and I got it very quick. It appears the Company
had received news that one of their captains had been killed in a scuffle with the natives.
This was my chance, and it made me the more anxious to go. It was only months and months
afterwards, when I made the attempt to recover what was left of the body, that I heard the original quarrel
arose from a misunderstanding about some hens. Yes, two black hens. Fresleven—that
was the fellow's name, a Dane—thought himself wronged somehow in the bargain,
so he went ashore and started to hammer the chief of the village with a stick. Oh, it didn't surprise me
in the least to hear this, and at the same time to be told that Fresleven was the gentlest, quietest creature
that ever walked on two legs. No doubt he was; but he had been a couple of years already out there engaged
in the noble cause, you know, and he probably felt the need at last of asserting his self-respect in some way.
Therefore he whacked the old nigger mercilessly, while a big crowd of his people watched him, thunderstruck,
till some man—I was told the chief's son—in desperation at hearing the old chap yell,
made a tentative jab with a spear at the white man—and of course it went quite easy between
the shoulder-blades. Then the whole population cleared into the forest, expecting all kinds of calamities
to happen, while, on the other hand, the steamer Fresleven commanded left also in a bad panic,
in charge of the engineer, I believe. Afterwards nobody seemed to trouble much about Fresleven's remains,
till I got out and stepped into his shoes. I couldn't let it rest, though; but when an opportunity offered at last
to meet my predecessor, the grass growing through his ribs was tall enough to hide his bones.
They were all there. The supernatural being had not been touched after he fell. And the village
was deserted, the huts gaped black, rotting, all askew within the fallen enclosures. A calamity
had come to it, sure enough. The people had vanished. Mad terror had scattered them, men,
women, and children, through the bush, and they had never returned. What became of the hens
I don't know either. I should think the cause of progress got them, anyhow. However, through
this glorious affair I got my appointment, before I had fairly begun to hope for it.
"I flew around like mad to get ready, and before forty-eight hours I was crossing the Channel
to show myself to my employers, and sign the contract. In a very few hours I arrived in a city
that always makes me think of a whited sepulchre. Prejudice no doubt. I had no difficulty
in finding the Company's offices. It was the biggest thing in the town, and everybody I met
was full of it. They were going to run an over-sea empire, and make no end of coin by trade.
"A narrow and deserted street in deep shadow, high houses, innumerable windows with venetian blinds,
a dead silence, grass sprouting right and left, immense double doors standing ponderously ajar. I slipped
through one of these cracks, went up a swept and ungarnished staircase, as arid as a desert, and opened
the first door I came to. Two women, one fat and the other slim, sat on straw-bottomed chairs, knitting
black wool. The slim one got up and walked straight at me—still knitting with downcast eyes—and
only just as I began to think of getting out of her way, as you would for a somnambulist, stood still,
and looked up. Her dress was as plain as an umbrella-cover, and she turned round without a word
and preceded me into a waiting-room. I gave my name, and looked about. Deal table in the middle,
plain chairs all round the walls, on one end a large shining map, marked with all the colours of a rainbow.
There was a vast amount of red—good to see at any time, because one knows that some real work
is done in there, a deuce of a lot of blue, a little green, smears of orange, and, on the East Coast, a purple patch,
to show where the jolly pioneers of progress drink the jolly lager-beer. However, I wasn't going into any of these.
I was going into the yellow. Dead in the centre. And the river was
there—fascinating—deadly—like a snake. Ough! A door opened, a white-haired
secretarial head, but wearing a compassionate expression, appeared, and a skinny forefinger beckoned me
into the sanctuary. Its light was dim, and a heavy writing-desk squatted in the middle. From behind
that structure came out an impression of pale plumpness in a frock-coat. The great man himself.
He was five feet six, I should judge, and had his grip on the handle-end of ever so many millions.
He shook hands, I fancy, murmured vaguely, was satisfied with my French. Bon Voyage.
"In about forty-five seconds I found myself again in the waiting-room with the compassionate secretary,
who, full of desolation and sympathy, made me sign some document. I believe I undertook amongst other things
not to disclose any trade secrets. Well, I am not going to.
"I began to feel slightly uneasy. You know I am not used to such ceremonies, and there was
something ominous in the atmosphere. It was just as though I had been let into some conspiracy—I
don't know—something not quite right; and I was glad to get out. In the outer room the two women
knitted black wool feverishly. People were arriving, and the younger one was walking back and forth
introducing them. The old one sat on her chair. Her flat cloth slippers were propped up on a foot-warmer,
and a cat reposed on her lap. She wore a starched white affair on her head, had a wart on one cheek,
and silver-rimmed spectacles hung on the tip of her nose. She glanced at me above the glasses.
The swift and indifferent placidity of that look troubled me. Two youths with foolish and cheery countenances
were being piloted over, and she threw at them the same quick glance of unconcerned wisdom.
She seemed to know all about them and about me, too. An eerie feeling came over me.
She seemed uncanny and fateful. Often far away there I thought of these two, guarding
the door of Darkness, knitting black wool as for a warm pall, one introducing, introducing
continuously to the unknown, the other scrutinizing the cheery and foolish faces with
unconcerned old eyes. Aye! Old knitter of black wool. Morituri te salutant. Not many
of those she looked at ever saw her again—not half, by a long way.
"There was yet a visit to the doctor. 'A simple formality,' assured me the secretary,
with an air of taking an immense part in all my sorrows. Accordingly a young chap wearing
his hat over the left eyebrow, some clerk I suppose—there must have been clerks
in the business, though the house was as still as a house in a city of the dead—came
from somewhere up-stairs, and led me forth. He was shabby and careless, with inkstains
on the sleeves of his jacket, and his cravat was large and billowy, under a chin shaped
like the toe of an old boot. It was a little too early for the doctor, so I proposed a drink,
and thereupon he developed a vein of joviality. As we sat over our vermouths he glorified
the Company's business, and by and by I expressed casually my surprise at him not going
out there. He became very cool and collected all at once. 'I am not such a fool as I look,
quoth Plato to his disciples,' he said sententiously, emptied his glass with great resolution,
and we rose.
"The old doctor felt my pulse, evidently thinking of something else the while. 'Good, good
for there,' he mumbled, and then with a certain eagerness asked me whether I would let him
measure my head. Rather surprised, I said Yes, when he produced a thing like calipers
and got the dimensions back and front and every way, taking notes carefully. He was
an unshaven little man in a threadbare coat like a gaberdine, with his feet in slippers,
and I thought him a harmless fool. 'I always ask leave, in the interests of science,
to measure the crania of those going out there,' he said. 'And when they come back,
too?' I asked. 'Oh, I never see them,' he remarked; 'and, moreover, the changes
take place inside, you know.' He smiled, as if at some quiet joke. 'So you are going out there.
Famous. Interesting, too.' He gave me a searching glance, and made another note.
'Ever any madness in your family?' he asked, in a matter-of-fact tone. I felt very annoyed.
'Is that question in the interests of science, too?' 'It would be,' he said, without taking notice
of my irritation, 'interesting for science to watch the mental changes of individuals,
on the spot, but...' 'Are you an alienist?' I interrupted. 'Every doctor should be—a little,'
answered that original, imperturbably. 'I have a little theory which you messieurs who go
out there must help me to prove. This is my share in the advantages my country shall reap
from the possession of such a magnificent dependency. The mere wealth I leave to others.
Pardon my questions, but you are the first Englishman coming under my observation...'
I hastened to assure him I was not in the least typical. 'If I were,' said I, 'I wouldn't be talking
like this with you.' 'What you say is rather profound, and probably erroneous,' he said, with a laugh.
'Avoid irritation more than exposure to the sun. Adieu. How do you English say, eh? Good-bye.
Ah! Good-bye. Adieu. In the tropics one must before everything keep calm.' ...
He lifted a warning forefinger... 'Du calme, du calme. Adieu.'
"One thing more remained to do—say good-bye to my excellent aunt. I found her triumphant.
I had a cup of tea—the last decent cup of tea for many days—and in a room that most
soothingly looked just as you would expect a lady's drawing-room to look, we had a long quiet chat
by the fireside. In the course of these confidences it became quite plain to me I had been represented
to the wife of the high dignitary, and goodness knows to how many more people besides, as an exceptional
and gifted creature—a piece of good fortune for the Company—a man you don't get hold
of every day. Good heavens! and I was going to take charge of a two-penny-half-penny river-steamboat
with a penny whistle attached! It appeared, however, I was also one of the Workers, with a capital—you
know. Something like an emissary of light, something like a lower sort of apostle. There had been a lot
of such rot let loose in print and talk just about that time, and the excellent woman, living right in the rush
of all that humbug, got carried off her feet. She talked about 'weaning those ignorant millions
from their horrid ways,' till, upon my word, she made me quite uncomfortable. I ventured to hint
that the Company was run for profit.
"''You forget, dear Charlie, that the labourer is worthy of his hire,' she said, brightly. It's queer
how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own, and there has never been anything
like it, and never can be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces
before the first sunset. Some confounded fact we men have been living contentedly with ever since the day
of creation would start up and knock the whole thing over.
"After this I got embraced, told to wear flannel, be sure to write often, and so on—and I left.
In the street—I don't know why—a queer feeling came to me that I was an imposter.
Odd thing that I, who used to clear out for any part of the world at twenty-four hours' notice,
with less thought than most men give to the crossing of a street, had a moment—I won't say
of hesitation, but of startled pause, before this commonplace affair. The best way I can explain it to you
is by saying that, for a second or two, I felt as though, instead of going to the centre of a continent,
I were about to set off for the centre of the earth.
"I left in a French steamer, and she called in every blamed port they have out there, for,
as far as I could see, the sole purpose of landing soldiers and custom-house officers. I watched
the coast. Watching a coast as it slips by the ship is like thinking about an enigma. There it is
before you—smiling, frowning, inviting, grand, mean, insipid, or savage, and always mute
with an air of whispering, 'Come and find out.' This one was almost featureless, as if still in the making,
with an aspect of monotonous grimness. The edge of a colossal jungle, so dark-green as to be
almost black, fringed with white surf, ran straight, like a ruled line, far, far away along a blue sea
whose glitter was blurred by a creeping mist. The sun was fierce, the land seemed to glisten
and drip with steam. Here and there greyish-whitish specks showed up clustered inside
the white surf, with a flag flying above them perhaps. Settlements some centuries old,
and still no bigger than pinheads on the untouched expanse of their background.
We pounded along, stopped, landed soldiers; went on, landed custom-house clerks
to levy toll in what looked like a God-forsaken wilderness, with a tin shed and a flag-pole
lost in it; landed more soldiers—to take care of the custom-house clerks, presumably.
Some, I heard, got drowned in the surf; but whether they did or not, nobody seemed particularly to care.
They were just flung out there, and on we went. Every day the coast looked the same, as though we had
not moved; but we passed various places—trading places—with names like Gran' Bassam,
Little Popo; names that seemed to belong to some sordid farce acted in front of a sinister back-cloth.
The idleness of a passenger, my isolation amongst all these men with whom I had no point of contact,
the oily and languid sea, the uniform sombreness of the coast, seemed to keep me away from the truth
of things, within the toil of a mournful and senseless delusion. The voice of the surf heard now and then
was a positive pleasure, like the speech of a brother. It was something natural, that had its reason,
that had a meaning. Now and then a boat from the shore gave one a momentary contact with reality.
It was paddled by black fellows. You could see from afar the white of their eyeballs glistening. They shouted,
sang; their bodies streamed with perspiration; they had faces like grotesque masks—these chaps;
but they had bone, muscle, a wild vitality, an intense energy of movement, that was as natural and true
as the surf along their coast. They wanted no excuse for being there. They were a great comfort to look at.
For a time I would feel I belonged still to a world of straightforward facts; but the feeling would not last long.
Something would turn up to scare it away. Once, I remember, we came upon a man-of-war anchored off
the coast. There wasn't even a shed there, and she was shelling the bush. It appears the French
had one of their wars going on thereabouts. Her ensign dropped limp like a rag; the muzzles
of the long six-inch guns stuck out all over the low hull; the greasy, slimy swell swung her up lazily
and let her down, swaying her thin masts. In the empty immensity of earth, sky, and water,
there she was, incomprehensible, firing into a continent. Pop, would go one of the six-inch guns;
a small flame would dart and vanish, a little white smoke would disappear, a tiny projectile
would give a feeble screech—and nothing happened. Nothing could happen.
There was a touch of insanity in the proceeding, a sense of lugubrious drollery in the sight;
and it was not dissipated by somebody on board assuring me earnestly there was a camp
of natives—he called them enemies!—hidden out of sight somewhere.
"We gave her her letters (I heard the men in that lonely ship were dying of fever at the rate
of three a day) and went on. We called at some more places with farcical names, where the merry dance
of death and trade goes on in a still and earthy atmosphere as of an overheated catacomb; all along
the formless coast bordered by dangerous surf, as if Nature herself had tried to ward off intruders;
in and out of rivers, streams of death in life, whose banks were rotting into mud, whose waters,
thickened into slime, invaded the contorted mangroves, that seemed to writhe at us in the extremity
of an impotent despair. Nowhere did we stop long enough to get a particularized impression,
but the general sense of vague and oppressive wonder grew upon me. It was like a weary pilgrimage
amongst hints for nightmares.
"It was upward of thirty days before I saw the mouth of the big river. We anchored off
the seat of the government. But my work would not begin till some two hundred miles
farther on. So as soon as I could I made a start for a place thirty miles higher up.
"I had my passage on a little sea-going steamer. Her captain was a Swede, and knowing me
for a seaman, invited me on the bridge. He was a young man, lean, fair, and morose, with lanky hair
and a shuffling gait. As we left the miserable little wharf, he tossed his head contemptuously at the shore.
'Been living there?' he asked. I said, 'Yes.' 'Fine lot these government chaps—are they not?'
he went on, speaking English with great precision and considerable bitterness. 'It is funny what
some people will do for a few francs a month. I wonder what becomes of that kind when it goes upcountry?'
I said to him I expected to see that soon. 'So-o-o!' he exclaimed. He shuffled athwart, keeping one eye
ahead vigilantly. 'Don't be too sure,' he continued. 'The other day I took up a man who hanged himself
on the road. He was a Swede, too.' 'Hanged himself! Why, in God's name?' I cried. He kept on looking out
watchfully. 'Who knows? The sun too much for him, or the country perhaps.'
"At last we opened a reach. A rocky cliff appeared, mounds of turned-up earth by the shore,
houses on a hill, others with iron roofs, amongst a waste of excavations, or hanging to the declivity.
A continuous noise of the rapids above hovered over this scene of inhabited devastation. A lot of people,
mostly black and naked, moved about like ants. A jetty projected into the river. A blinding sunlight drowned
all this at times in a sudden recrudescence of glare. 'There's your Company's station,' said the Swede,
pointing to three wooden barrack-like structures on the rocky slope. 'I will send your things up.
Four boxes did you say? So. Farewell.'
"I came upon a boiler wallowing in the grass, then found a path leading up the hill. It turned
aside for the boulders, and also for an undersized railway-truck lying there on its back with its wheels
in the air. One was off. The thing looked as dead as the carcass of some animal. I came upon more
pieces of decaying machinery, a stack of rusty rails. To the left a clump of trees made a shady spot,
where dark things seemed to stir feebly. I blinked, the path was steep. A horn tooted to the right,
and I saw the black people run. A heavy and dull detonation shook the ground, a puff of smoke
came out of the cliff, and that was all. No change appeared on the face of the rock. They were
building a railway. The cliff was not in the way or anything; but this objectless blasting was all
the work going on.
"A slight clinking behind me made me turn my head. Six black men advanced in a file,
toiling up the path. They walked erect and slow, balancing small baskets full of earth on their heads,
and the clink kept time with their footsteps. Black rags were wound round their loins, and the short ends
behind waggled to and fro like tails. I could see every rib, the joints of their limbs were like knots in a rope;
each had an iron collar on his neck, and all were connected together with a chain whose bights swung
between them, rhythmically clinking. Another report from the cliff made me think suddenly of that ship of war
I had seen firing into a continent. It was the same kind of ominous voice; but these men could by no stretch
of imagination be called enemies. They were called criminals, and the outraged law, like the bursting shells,
had come to them, an insoluble mystery from the sea. All their meagre breasts panted together, the violently
dilated nostrils quivered, the eyes stared stonily uphill. They passed me within six inches, without a glance,
with that complete, deathlike indifference of unhappy savages. Behind this raw matter one of the reclaimed,
the product of the new forces at work, strolled despondently, carrying a rifle by its middle. He had a uniform
jacket with one button off, and seeing a white man on the path, hoisted his weapon to his shoulder
with alacrity. This was simple prudence, white men being so much alike at a distance that he could not
tell who I might be. He was speedily reassured, and with a large, white, rascally grin, and a glance
at his charge, seemed to take me into partnership in his exalted trust. After all, I also was a part
of the great cause of these high and just proceedings.
"Instead of going up, I turned and descended to the left. My idea was to let that chain-gang
get out of sight before I climbed the hill. You know I am not particularly tender; I've had to strike
and to fend off. I've had to resist and to attack sometimes—that's only one way of
resisting—without counting the exact cost, according to the demands of such sort of life
as I had blundered into. I've seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and the devil of hot desire;
but, by all the stars! these were strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove men—men,
I tell you. But as I stood on this hillside, I foresaw that in the blinding sunshine of that land I would become
acquainted with a flabby, pretending, weak-eyed devil of a rapacious and pitiless folly. How insidious
he could be, too, I was only to find out several months later and a thousand miles farther. For a moment
I stood appalled, as though by a warning. Finally I descended the hill, obliquely, towards the trees I had seen.
"I avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been digging on the slope, the purpose of which
I found it impossible to divine. It wasn't a quarry or a sandpit, anyhow. It was just a hole. It might have been
connected with the philanthropic desire of giving the criminals something to do. I don't know. Then I nearly
fell into a very narrow ravine, almost no more than a scar in the hillside. I discovered that a lot of imported
drainage-pipes for the settlement had been tumbled in there. There wasn't one that was not broken.
It was a wanton smash-up. At last I got under the trees. My purpose was to stroll into the shade
for a moment; but no sooner within than it seemed to me I had stepped into the gloomy circle
of some Inferno. The rapids were near, and an uninterrupted, uniform, headlong, rushing noise
filled the mournful stillness of the grove, where not a breath stirred, not a leaf moved,
with a mysterious sound—as though the tearing pace of the launched earth
had suddenly become audible.
"Black shapes crouched, lay, sat between the trees leaning against the trunks,
clinging to the earth, half coming out, half effaced within the dim light, in all the attitudes of pain,
abandonment, and despair. Another mine on the cliff went off, followed by a slight shudder
of the soil under my feet. The work was going on. The work! And this was the place where
some of the helpers had withdrawn to die.
"They were dying slowly—it was very clear. They were not enemies, they were not criminals,
they were nothing earthly now—nothing but black shadows of disease and starvation, lying confusedly
in the greenish gloom. Brought from all the recesses of the coast in all the legality of time contracts,
lost in uncongenial surroundings, fed on unfamiliar food, they sickened, became inefficient, and
were then allowed to crawl away and rest. These moribund shapes were free as air—and
nearly as thin. I began to distinguish the gleam of the eyes under the trees. Then, glancing down,
I saw a face near my hand. The black bones reclined at full length with one shoulder against the tree,
and slowly the eyelids rose and the sunken eyes looked up at me, enormous and vacant, a kind of blind,
white flicker in the depths of the orbs, which died out slowly. The man seemed young—almost
a boy—but you know with them it's hard to tell. I found nothing else to do but to offer him
one of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket. The fingers closed slowly on it and
held—there was no other movement and no other glance. He had tied a bit of white worsted
round his neck—Why? Where did he get it? Was it a badge—an ornament—a
charm—a propitiatory act? Was there any idea at all connected with it? It looked startling round
his black neck, this bit of white thread from beyond the seas.
"Near the same tree two more bundles of acute angles sat with their legs drawn up.
One, with his chin propped on his knees, stared at nothing, in an intolerable and appalling manner:
his brother phantom rested its forehead, as if overcome with a great weariness; and all about others
were scattered in every pose of contorted collapse, as in some picture of a massacre or a pestilence.
While I stood horror-struck, one of these creatures rose to his hands and knees, and went off
on all-fours towards the river to drink. He lapped out of his hand, then sat up in the sunlight,
crossing his shins in front of him, and after a time let his woolly head fall on his breastbone.
"I didn't want any more loitering in the shade, and I made haste towards the station.
When near the buildings I met a white man, in such an unexpected elegance of get-up that
in the first moment I took him for a sort of vision. I saw a high starched collar, white cuffs,
a light alpaca jacket, snowy trousers, a clean necktie, and varnished boots. No hat.
Hair parted, brushed, oiled, under a green-lined parasol held in a big white hand.
He was amazing, and had a penholder behind his ear.
"I shook hands with this miracle, and I learned he was the Company's chief accountant,
and that all the book-keeping was done at this station. He had come out for a moment, he said,
'to get a breath of fresh air. The expression sounded wonderfully odd, with its suggestion of sedentary
desk-life. I wouldn't have mentioned the fellow to you at all, only it was from his lips that I first heard
the name of the man who is so indissolubly connected with the memories of that time. Moreover,
I respected the fellow. Yes; I respected his collars, his vast cuffs, his brushed hair. His appearance
was certainly that of a hairdresser's dummy; but in the great demoralization of the land he kept up
his appearance. That's backbone. His starched collars and got-up shirt-fronts were achievements
of character. He had been out nearly three years; and, later, I could not help asking him how
he managed to sport such linen. He had just the faintest blush, and said modestly,
'I've been teaching one of the native women about the station. It was difficult. She had
a distaste for the work.' Thus this man had verily accomplished something. And he was
devoted to his books, which were in apple-pie order.
"Everything else in the station was in a muddle—heads, things, buildings.
Strings of dusty niggers with splay feet arrived and departed; a stream of manufactured goods,
rubbishy cottons, beads, and brass-wire set into the depths of darkness, and in return came
a precious trickle of ivory.
"I had to wait in the station for ten days—an eternity. I lived in a hut in the yard,
but to be out of the chaos I would sometimes get into the accountant's office. It was built
of horizontal planks, and so badly put together that, as he bent over his high desk,
he was barred from neck to heels with narrow strips of sunlight. There was no need
to open the big shutter to see. It was hot there, too; big flies buzzed fiendishly,
and did not sting, but stabbed. I sat generally on the floor, while, of faultless appearance
(and even slightly scented), perching on a high stool, he wrote, he wrote. Sometimes
he stood up for exercise. When a truckle-bed with a sick man (some invalid agent
from upcountry) was put in there, he exhibited a gentle annoyance. 'The groans
of this sick person,' he said, 'distract my attention. And without that it is extremely
difficult to guard against clerical errors in this climate.'
"One day he remarked, without lifting his head, 'In the interior you will no doubt meet Mr. Kurtz.'
On my asking who Mr. Kurtz was, he said he was a first-class agent; and seeing my disappointment
at this information, he added slowly, laying down his pen, 'He is a very remarkable person.' Further questions
elicited from him that Mr. Kurtz was at present in charge of a trading-post, a very important one,
in the true ivory-country, at 'the very bottom of there. Sends in as much ivory as all the others put together...'
He began to write again. The sick man was too ill to groan. The flies buzzed in a great peace.
"Suddenly there was a growing murmur of voices and a great tramping of feet. A caravan had come in.
A violent babble of uncouth sounds burst out on the other side of the planks. All the carriers were speaking
together, and in the midst of the uproar the lamentable voice of the chief agent was heard 'giving it up' tearfully
for the twentieth time that day. ... He rose slowly. 'What a frightful row,' he said. He crossed the room gently
to look at the sick man, and returning, said to me, 'He does not hear.' 'What! Dead?' I asked, startled.
'No, not yet,' he answered, with great composure. Then, alluding with a toss of the head to the tumult
in the station-yard, 'When one has got to make correct entries, one comes to hate those savages—hate
them to the death.' He remained thoughtful for a moment. 'When you see Mr. Kurtz' he went on,
'tell him from me that everything here'—he glanced at the deck—'is very satisfactory.
I don't like to write to him—with those messengers of ours you never know who may get hold
of your letter—at that Central Station.' He stared at me for a moment with his mild, bulging eyes.
'Oh, he will go far, very far,' he began again. 'He will be a somebody in the Administration before long.
They, above—the Council in Europe, you know—mean him to be.'
"He turned to his work. The noise outside had ceased, and presently in going out I stopped at the door.
In the steady buzz of flies the homeward-bound agent was lying finished and insensible; the other, bent over
his books, was making correct entries of perfectly correct transactions; and fifty feet below the doorstep
I could see the still tree-tops of the grove of death.
"Next day I left that station at last, with a caravan of sixty men, for a two-hundred-mile tramp.
"No use telling you much about that. Paths, paths, everywhere; a stamped-in network of paths
spreading over the empty land, through the long grass, through burnt grass, through thickets, down
and up chilly ravines, up and down stony hills ablaze with heat; and a solitude, a solitude, nobody,
not a hut. The population had cleared out a long time ago. Well, if a lot of mysterious niggers armed
with all kinds of fearful weapons suddenly took to travelling on the road between Deal and Gravesend,
catching the yokels right and left to carry heavy loads for them, I fancy every farm and cottage thereabouts
would get empty very soon. Only here the dwellings were gone, too. Still I passed through several abandoned
villages. There's something pathetically childish in the ruins of grass walls. Day after day, with the stamp
and shuffle of sixty pairs of bare feet behind me, each pair under a 60-lb. load. Camp, cook, sleep,
strike camp, march. Now and then a carrier dead in harness, at rest in the long grass near the path,
with an empty water-gourd and his long staff lying by his side. A great silence around and above.
Perhaps on some quiet night the tremor of far-off drums, sinking, swelling, a tremor vast, faint;
a sound weird, appealing, suggestive, and wild—and perhaps with as profound a meaning
as the sound of bells in a Christian country. Once a white man in an unbuttoned uniform,
camping on the path with an armed escort of lank Zanzibaris, very hospitable and festive—not
to say drunk—was looking after the upkeep of the road, he declared. 'Can't say I saw any road
or any upkeep, unless the body of a middle-aged negro, with a bullet-hole in the forehead, upon which
I absolutely stumbled three miles farther on, may be considered as a permanent improvement.
I had a white companion, too, not a bad chap, but rather too fleshy and with the exasperating habit
of fainting on the hot hillsides, miles away from the least bit of shade and water. Annoying, you know,
to hold your own coat like a parasol over a man's head while he is coming to.' I couldn't help asking him
once what he meant by coming there at all. 'To make money, of course. What do you think?' he said,
scornfully. Then he got fever, and had to be carried in a hammock slung under a pole. As he weighed
sixteen stone I had no end of rows with the carriers. They jibbed, ran away, sneaked off with their loads
in the night—quite a mutiny. So, one evening, I made a speech in English with gestures,
not one of which was lost to the sixty pairs of eyes before me, and the next morning I started
the hammock off in front all right. An hour afterwards I came upon the whole concern wrecked
in a bush—man, hammock, groans, blankets, horrors. The heavy pole had skinned
his poor nose. He was very anxious for me to kill somebody, but there wasn't the shadow
of a carrier near. I remembered the old doctor—'It would be interesting for science
to watch the mental changes of individuals, on the spot.' I felt I was becoming scientifically interesting.
However, all that is to no purpose. On the fifteenth day I came in sight of the big river again, and hobbled
into the Central Station. It was on a back water surrounded by scrub and forest, with a pretty border
of smelly mud on one side, and on the three others enclosed by a crazy fence of rushes. A neglected gap
was all the gate it had, and the first glance at the place was enough to let you see the flabby devil
was running that show. White men with long staves in their hands appeared languidly from amongst
the buildings, strolling up to take a look at me, and then retired out of sight somewhere. One of them,
a stout, excitable chap with black moustaches, informed me with great volubility and many digressions,
as soon as I told him who I was, that my steamer was at the bottom of the river. I was thunderstruck.
What, how, why? Oh, it was 'all right.' The 'manager himself' was there. All quite correct. 'Everybody
had behaved splendidly! splendidly!'—'you must,' he said in agitation, 'go and see
the general manager at once. He is waiting!'
"I did not see the real significance of that wreck at once. I fancy I see it now, but I am not
sure—not at all. Certainly the affair was too stupid—when I think of it—to be
altogether natural. Still... But at the moment it presented itself simply as a confounded nuisance.
The steamer was sunk. They had started two days before in a sudden hurry up the river with the manager
on board, in charge of some volunteer skipper, and before they had been out three hours they tore
the bottom out of her on stones, and she sank near the south bank. I asked myself what I was to do there,
now my boat was lost. As a matter of fact, I had plenty to do in fishing my command out of the river.
I had to set about it the very next day. That, and the repairs when I brought the pieces to the station,
took some months.
"My first interview with the manager was curious. He did not ask me to sit down
after my twenty-mile walk that morning. He was commonplace in complexion, in features,
in manners, and in voice. He was of middle size and of ordinary build. His eyes, of the usual blue,
were perhaps remarkably cold, and he certainly could make his glance fall on one as trenchant
and heavy as an axe. But even at these times the rest of his person seemed to disclaim the intention.
Otherwise there was only an indefinable, faint expression of his lips, something stealthy—a
smile—not a smile—I remember it, but I can't explain. It was unconscious, this smile was,
though just after he had said something it got intensified for an instant. It came at the end of his speeches
like a seal applied on the words to make the meaning of the commonest phrase appear absolutely inscrutable.
He was a common trader, from his youth up employed in these parts—nothing more. He was obeyed,
yet he inspired neither love nor fear, nor even respect. He inspired uneasiness. That was it! Uneasiness.
Not a definite mistrust—just uneasiness—nothing more. You have no idea how effective
such a... a... faculty can be. He had no genius for organizing, for initiative, or for order even. That was evident
in such things as the deplorable state of the station. He had no learning, and no intelligence. His position
had come to him—why? Perhaps because he was never ill... He had served three terms
of three years out there... Because triumphant health in the general rout of constitutions is a kind
of power in itself. When he went home on leave he rioted on a large scale—pompously.
Jack ashore—with a difference—in externals only. This one could gather from
his casual talk. He originated nothing, he could keep the routine going—that's all.
But he was great. He was great by this little thing that it was impossible to tell what could control
such a man. He never gave that secret away. Perhaps there was nothing within him. Such a suspicion
made one pause—for out there there were no external checks. Once when various tropical diseases
had laid low almost every 'agent' in the station, he was heard to say, 'Men who come out here should
have no entrails.' He sealed the utterance with that smile of his, as though it had been a door opening
into a darkness he had in his keeping. You fancied you had seen things—but the seal was on.
When annoyed at meal-times by the constant quarrels of the white men about precedence, he ordered
an immense round table to be made, for which a special house had to be built. This was the station's
mess-room. Where he sat was the first place—the rest were nowhere. One felt this to be
his unalterable conviction. He was neither civil nor uncivil. He was quiet. He allowed
his 'boy'—an overfed young negro from the coast—to treat the white men,
under his very eyes, with provoking insolence.
"He began to speak as soon as he saw me. I had been very long on the road.
He could not wait. Had to start without me. The up-river stations had to be relieved.
There had been so many delays already that he did not know who was dead and
who was alive, and how they got on—and so on, and so on. He paid no attention
to my explanations, and, playing with a stick of sealing-wax, repeated several times
that the situation was 'very grave, very grave.' There were rumours that a very important station
was in jeopardy, and its chief, Mr. Kurtz, was ill. Hoped it was not true. Mr. Kurtz was...
I felt weary and irritable. Hang Kurtz, I thought. I interrupted him by saying I had heard of Mr. Kurtz
on the coast. 'Ah! So they talk of him down there,' he murmured to himself. Then he began again,
assuring me Mr. Kurtz was the best agent he had, an exceptional man, of the greatest importance
to the Company; therefore I could understand his anxiety. He was, he said, 'very, very uneasy.'
Certainly he fidgeted on his chair a good deal, exclaimed, 'Ah, Mr. Kurtz!' broke the stick
of sealing-wax and seemed dumfounded by the accident. Next thing he wanted to know
'how long it would take to'... I interrupted him again. Being hungry, you know, and kept on my feet too.
I was getting savage. 'How can I tell?' I said. 'I haven't even seen the wreck yet—some months,
no doubt.' All this talk seemed to me so futile. 'Some months,' he said. 'Well, let us say three months
before we can make a start. Yes. That ought to do the affair.' I flung out of his hut (he lived all alone
in a clay hut with a sort of verandah) muttering to myself my opinion of him. He was a chattering idiot.
Afterwards I took it back when it was borne in upon me startlingly with what extreme nicety
he had estimated the time requisite for the 'affair.'
"I went to work the next day, turning, so to speak, my back on that station. In that way only
it seemed to me I could keep my hold on the redeeming facts of life. Still, one must look about
sometimes; and then I saw this station, these men strolling aimlessly about in the sunshine
of the yard. I asked myself sometimes what it all meant. They wandered here and there with
their absurd long staves in their hands, like a lot of faithless pilgrims bewitched inside a rotten fence.
The word 'ivory' rang in the air, was whispered, was sighed. You would think they were praying to it.
A taint of imbecile rapacity blew through it all, like a whiff from some corpse. By Jove! I've never seen
anything so unreal in my life. And outside, the silent wilderness surrounding this cleared speck
on the earth struck me as something great and invincible, like evil or truth, waiting patiently
for the passing away of this fantastic invasion.
"Oh, these months! Well, never mind. Various things happened. One evening a grass shed
full of calico, cotton prints, beads, and I don't know what else, burst into a blaze so suddenly
that you would have thought the earth had opened to let an avenging fire consume all that trash.
I was smoking my pipe quietly by my dismantled steamer, and saw them all cutting capers
in the light, with their arms lifted high, when the stout man with moustaches came tearing down
to the river, a tin pail in his hand, assured me that everybody was 'behaving splendidly, splendidly,'
dipped about a quart of water and tore back again. I noticed there was a hole in the bottom of his pail.
"I strolled up. There was no hurry. You see the thing had gone off like a box of matches.
It had been hopeless from the very first. The flame had leaped high, driven everybody back,
lighted up everything—and collapsed. The shed was already a heap of embers
glowing fiercely. A nigger was being beaten near by. They said he had caused the fire
in some way; be that as it may, he was screeching most horribly. I saw him, later,
for several days, sitting in a bit of shade looking very sick and trying to recover himself;
afterwards he arose and went out—and the wilderness without a sound took him
into its bosom again. As I approached the glow from the dark I found myself at the back
of two men, talking. I heard the name of Kurtz pronounced, then the words, 'take advantage
of this unfortunate accident.' One of the men was the manager. I wished him a good evening.
'Did you ever see anything like it—eh? It is incredible,' he said, and walked off.
The other man remained. He was a first-class agent, young, gentlemanly, a bit reserved,
with a forked little beard and a hooked nose. He was stand-offish with the other agents,
and they on their side said he was the manager's spy upon them. As to me, I had hardly
ever spoken to him before. We got into talk, and by and by we strolled away from the hissing ruins.
Then he asked me to his room, which was in the main building of the station. He struck a match,
and I perceived that this young aristocrat had not only a silver-mounted dressing-case
but also a whole candle all to himself. Just at that time the manager was the only man
supposed to have any right to candles. Native mats covered the clay walls; a collection of spears,
assegais, shields, knives was hung up in trophies. The business intrusted to this fellow
was the making of bricks—so I had been informed; but there wasn't a fragment
of a brick anywhere in the station, and he had been there more than a year—waiting.
It seems he could not make bricks without something, I don't know what—straw maybe.
Anyway, it could not be found there and as it was not likely to be sent from Europe, it did not appear
clear to me what he was waiting for. An act of special creation perhaps. However, they were all
waiting—all the sixteen or twenty pilgrims of them—for something; and upon my word
it did not seem an uncongenial occupation, from the way they took it, though the only thing
that ever came to them was disease—as far as I could see. They beguiled the time
by back-biting and intriguing against each other in a foolish kind of way. There was an air of plotting
about that station, but nothing came of it, of course. It was as unreal as everything else—as
the philanthropic pretence of the whole concern, as their talk, as their government, as their show of work.
The only real feeling was a desire to get appointed to a trading-post where ivory was to be had,
so that they could earn percentages. They intrigued and slandered and hated each other
only on that account—but as to effectually lifting a little finger—oh, no.
By heavens! there is something after all in the world allowing one man to steal a horse
while another must not look at a halter. Steal a horse straight out. Very well. He has done it.
Perhaps he can ride. But there is a way of looking at a halter that would provoke the most charitable
of saints into a kick.
"I had no idea why he wanted to be sociable, but as we chatted in there it suddenly occurred
to me the fellow was trying to get at something—in fact, pumping me. He alluded constantly
to Europe, to the people I was supposed to know there—putting leading questions as to my
acquaintances in the sepulchral city, and so on. His little eyes glittered like mica discs—with
curiosity—though he tried to keep up a bit of superciliousness. At first I was astonished, but
very soon I became awfully curious to see what he would find out from me. I couldn't possibly imagine
what I had in me to make it worth his while. It was very pretty to see how he baffled himself, for in truth
my body was full only of chills, and my head had nothing in it but that wretched steamboat business.
It was evident he took me for a perfectly shameless prevaricator. At last he got angry, and, to conceal
a movement of furious annoyance, he yawned. I rose. Then I noticed a small sketch in oils, on a panel,
representing a woman, draped and blindfolded, carrying a lighted torch. The background was
sombre—almost black. The movement of the woman was stately, and the effect of the torchlight
on the face was sinister.
"It arrested me, and he stood by civilly, holding an empty half-pint champagne bottle
(medical comforts) with the candle stuck in it. To my question he said Mr. Kurtz had
painted this—in this very station more than a year ago—while waiting for means
to go to his trading post. 'Tell me, pray,' said I, 'who is this Mr. Kurtz?'
"'The chief of the Inner Station,' he answered in a short tone, looking away. 'Much obliged,'
I said, laughing. 'And you are the brickmaker of the Central Station. Every one knows that.' He was
silent for a while. 'He is a prodigy,' he said at last. 'He is an emissary of pity and science and progress,
and devil knows what else. We want,' he began to declaim suddenly, 'for the guidance of the cause
intrusted to us by Europe, so to speak, higher intelligence, wide sympathies, a singleness of purpose.'
'Who says that?' I asked. 'Lots of them,' he replied. 'Some even write that; and so he comes here,
a special being, as you ought to know.' 'Why ought I to know?' I interrupted, really surprised.
He paid no attention. 'Yes. Today he is chief of the best station, next year he will be assistant-manager,
two years more and... but I dare-say you know what he will be in two years' time. You are of the new
gang—the gang of virtue. The same people who sent him specially also recommended you.
Oh, don't say no. I've my own eyes to trust.' Light dawned upon me. My dear aunt's influential acquaintances
were producing an unexpected effect upon that young man. I nearly burst into a laugh. 'Do you read
the Company's confidential correspondence?' I asked. He hadn't a word to say. It was great fun.
'When Mr. Kurtz,' I continued, severely, 'is General Manager, you won't have the opportunity.'
"He blew the candle out suddenly, and we went outside. The moon had risen. Black figures
strolled about listlessly, pouring water on the glow, whence proceeded a sound of hissing; steam
ascended in the moonlight, the beaten nigger groaned somewhere. 'What a row the brute makes!'
said the indefatigable man with the moustaches, appearing near us. 'Serve him right.
Transgression—punishment—bang! Pitiless, pitiless. That's the only way.
This will prevent all conflagrations for the future. I was just telling the manager...' He noticed
my companion, and became crestfallen all at once. 'Not in bed yet,' he said, with a kind of
servile heartiness; 'it's so natural. Ha! Danger—agitation.' He vanished. I went on to
the riverside, and the other followed me. I heard a scathing murmur at my ear, 'Heap of
muffs—go to.' The pilgrims could be seen in knots gesticulating, discussing.
Several had still their staves in their hands. I verily believe they took these sticks to bed
with them. Beyond the fence the forest stood up spectrally in the moonlight, and through
that dim stir, through the faint sounds of that lamentable courtyard, the silence of the land
went home to one's very heart—its mystery, its greatness, the amazing reality
of its concealed life. The hurt nigger moaned feebly somewhere near by, and then fetched
a deep sigh that made me mend my pace away from there. I felt a hand introducing itself
under my arm. 'My dear sir,' said the fellow, 'I don't want to be misunderstood, and especially
by you, who will see Mr. Kurtz long before I can have that pleasure. I wouldn't like him
to get a false idea of my disposition...'
"I let him run on, this papier-mache Mephistopheles, and it seemed to me that if I tried
I could poke my forefinger through him, and would find nothing inside but a little loose dirt, maybe.
He, don't you see, had been planning to be assistant-manager by and by under the present man,
and I could see that the coming of that Kurtz had upset them both not a little. He talked precipitately,
and I did not try to stop him. I had my shoulders against the wreck of my steamer, hauled up on
the slope like a carcass of some big river animal. The smell of mud, of primeval mud, by Jove!
was in my nostrils, the high stillness of primeval forest was before my eyes; there were shiny patches
on the black creek. The moon had spread over everything a thin layer of silver—over the rank grass,
over the mud, upon the wall of matted vegetation standing higher than the wall of a temple, over the great river
I could see through a sombre gap glittering, glittering, as it flowed broadly by without a murmur.
All this was great, expectant, mute, while the man jabbered about himself. I wondered whether
the stillness on the face of the immensity looking at us two were meant as an appeal or as a menace.
What were we who had strayed in here? Could we handle that dumb thing, or would it handle us?
I felt how big, how confoundedly big, was that thing that couldn't talk, and perhaps was deaf as well.
What was in there? I could see a little ivory coming out from there, and I had heard Mr. Kurtz
was in there. I had heard enough about it, too—God knows! Yet somehow it didn't bring
any image with it—no more than if I had been told an angel or a fiend was in there.
I believed it in the same way one of you might believe there are inhabitants in the planet Mars.
I knew once a Scotch sailmaker who was certain, dead sure, there were people in Mars.
If you asked him for some idea how they looked and behaved, he would get shy and mutter
something about 'walking on all-fours.' If you as much as smiled, he would—though
a man of sixty—offer to fight you. I would not have gone so far as to fight for Kurtz,
but I went for him near enough to a lie. You know I hate, detest, and can't bear a lie, not because
I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death,
a flavour of mortality in lies—which is exactly what I hate and detest in the world—what
I want to forget. It makes me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would do. Temperament,
I suppose. Well, I went near enough to it by letting the young fool there believe anything he liked
to imagine as to my influence in Europe. I became in an instant as much of a pretence as the rest
of the bewitched pilgrims. This simply because I had a notion it somehow would be of help to that Kurtz
whom at the time I did not see—you understand. He was just a word for me. I did not see the man
in the name any more than you do. Do you see him? Do you see the story? Do you see anything?
It seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream—making a vain attempt, because no relation
of a dream can convey the dream-sensation, that commingling of absurdity, surprise, and bewilderment
in a tremor of struggling revolt, that notion of being captured by the incredible which is
of the very essence of dreams..."
He was silent for a while.
"...No, it is impossible; it is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch
of one's existence—that which makes its truth, its meaning—its subtle and penetrating
essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream—alone..."
He paused again as if reflecting, then added:
"Of course in this you fellows see more than I could then. You see me, whom you know..."
It had become so pitch dark that we listeners could hardly see one another. For a long time
already he, sitting apart, had been no more to us than a voice. There was not a word from anybody.
The others might have been asleep, but I was awake. I listened, I listened on the watch for the sentence,
for the word, that would give me the clue to the faint uneasiness inspired by this narrative that seemed
to shape itself without human lips in the heavy night-air of the river.
"...Yes—I let him run on," Marlow began again, "and think what he pleased
about the powers that were behind me. I did! And there was nothing behind me! There was nothing
but that wretched, old, mangled steamboat I was leaning against, while he talked fluently about
'the necessity for every man to get on.' 'And when one comes out here, you conceive, it is not to gaze
at the moon.' Mr. Kurtz was a 'universal genius,' but even a genius would find it easier to work
with 'adequate tools—intelligent men.' He did not make bricks—why, there was
a physical impossibility in the way—as I was well aware; and if he did secretarial work
for the manager, it was because 'no sensible man rejects wantonly the confidence of his superiors.'
Did I see it? I saw it. What more did I want? What I really wanted was rivets, by heaven! Rivets.
To get on with the work—to stop the hole. Rivets I wanted. There were cases of them down
at the coast—cases—piled up—burst—split! You kicked a loose rivet
at every second step in that station-yard on the hillside. Rivets had rolled into the grove of death.
You could fill your pockets with rivets for the trouble of stooping down—and there wasn't one rivet
to be found where it was wanted. We had plates that would do, but nothing to fasten them with.
And every week the messenger, a long negro, letter-bag on shoulder and staff in hand, left our station
for the coast. And several times a week a coast caravan came in with trade goods—ghastly glazed
calico that made you shudder only to look at it, glass beads value about a penny a quart, confounded spotted
cotton handkerchiefs. And no rivets. Three carriers could have brought all that was wanted to set
that steamboat afloat.
"He was becoming confidential now, but I fancy my unresponsive attitude must have
exasperated him at last, for he judged it necessary to inform me he feared neither God nor devil,
let alone any mere man. I said I could see that very well, but what I wanted was a certain quantity
of rivets—and rivets were what really Mr. Kurtz wanted, if he had only known it.
Now letters went to the coast every week... 'My dear sir,' he cried, 'I write from dictation.'
I demanded rivets. There was a way—for an intelligent man. He changed his manner;
became very cold, and suddenly began to talk about a hippopotamus; wondered whether sleeping
on board the steamer (I stuck to my salvage night and day) I wasn't disturbed. There was an old hippo
that had the bad habit of getting out on the bank and roaming at night over the station grounds.
The pilgrims used to turn out in a body and empty every rifle they could lay hands on at him.
Some even had sat up o' nights for him. All this energy was wasted, though. 'That animal
has a charmed life,' he said; 'but you can say this only of brutes in this country. No man—you
apprehend me?—no man here bears a charmed life.' He stood there for a moment in the moonlight
with his delicate hooked nose set a little askew, and his mica eyes glittering without a wink, then,
with a curt Good-night, he strode off. I could see he was disturbed and considerably puzzled,
which made me feel more hopeful than I had been for days. It was a great comfort to turn
from that chap to my influential friend, the battered, twisted, ruined, tin-pot steamboat.
I clambered on board. She rang under my feet like an empty Huntley & Palmer biscuit-tin
kicked along a gutter; she was nothing so solid in make, and rather less pretty in shape,
but I had expended enough hard work on her to make me love her. No influential friend
would have served me better. She had given me a chance to come out a bit—to find out
what I could do. No, I don't like work. I had rather laze about and think of all the fine things
that can be done. I don't like work—no man does—but I like what is in
the work—the chance to find yourself. Your own reality—for yourself,
not for others—what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show,
and never can tell what it really means.
&I was not surprised to see somebody sitting aft, on the deck, with his legs dangling
over the mud. You see I rather chummed with the few mechanics there were in that station,
whom the other pilgrims naturally despised—on account of their imperfect manners,
I suppose. This was the foreman—a boiler-maker by trade—a good worker.
He was a lank, bony, yellow-faced man, with big intense eyes. His aspect was worried,
and his head was as bald as the palm of my hand; but his hair in falling seemed to have
stuck to his chin, and had prospered in the new locality, for his beard hung down to his waist.
He was a widower with six young children (he had left them in charge of a sister of his
to come out there), and the passion of his life was pigeon-flying. He was an enthusiast
and a connoisseur. He would rave about pigeons. After work hours he used sometimes
to come over from his hut for a talk about his children and his pigeons; at work, when he had
to crawl in the mud under the bottom of the steamboat, he would tie up that beard of his in a kind
of white serviette he brought for the purpose. It had loops to go over his ears. In the evening
he could be seen squatted on the bank rinsing that wrapper in the creek with great care,
then spreading it solemnly on a bush to dry.
"I slapped him on the back and shouted, 'We shall have rivets!' He scrambled to his feet
exclaiming, 'No! Rivets!' as though he couldn't believe his ears. Then in a low voice, 'You... eh?'
I don't know why we behaved like lunatics. I put my finger to the side of my nose and nodded mysteriously.
'Good for you!' he cried, snapped his fingers above his head, lifting one foot. I tried a jig. We capered on
the iron deck. A frightful clatter came out of that hulk, and the virgin forest on the other bank of the creek
sent it back in a thundering roll upon the sleeping station. It must have made some of the pilgrims
sit up in their hovels. A dark figure obscured the lighted doorway of the manager's hut, vanished,
then, a second or so after, the doorway itself vanished, too. We stopped, and the silence driven away
by the stamping of our feet flowed back again from the recesses of the land. The great wall of vegetation,
an exuberant and entangled mass of trunks, branches, leaves, boughs, festoons, motionless in the moonlight,
was like a rioting invasion of soundless life, a rolling wave of plants, piled up, crested, ready to topple
over the creek, to sweep every little man of us out of his little existence. And it moved not. A deadened burst
of mighty splashes and snorts reached us from afar, as though an icthyosaurus had been taking a bath
of glitter in the great river. 'After all,' said the boiler-maker in a reasonable tone, 'why shouldn't we get
the rivets?' Why not, indeed! I did not know of any reason why we shouldn't. 'They'll come in three weeks,'
I said confidently.
"But they didn't. Instead of rivets there came an invasion, an infliction, a visitation. It came
in sections during the next three weeks, each section headed by a donkey carrying a white man
in new clothes and tan shoes, bowing from that elevation right and left to the impressed pilgrims.
A quarrelsome band of footsore sulky niggers trod on the heels of the donkey; a lot of tents,
camp-stools, tin boxes, white cases, brown bales would be shot down in the courtyard,
and the air of mystery would deepen a little over the muddle of the station. Five such instalments
came, with their absurd air of disorderly flight with the loot of innumerable outfit shops and provision stores,
that, one would think, they were lugging, after a raid, into the wilderness for equitable division.
It was an inextricable mess of things decent in themselves but that human folly made look
like the spoils of thieving.
"This devoted band called itself the Eldorado Exploring Expedition, and I believe they were
sworn to secrecy. Their talk, however, was the talk of sordid buccaneers: it ywas reckless without
hardihood, greedy without audacity, and cruel without courage; there was not an atom of foresight
or of serious intention in the whole batch of them, and they did not seem aware these things are
wanted for the work of the world. To tear treasure out of the bowels of the land was their desire,
with no more moral purpose at the back of it than there is in burglars breaking into a safe.
Who paid the expenses of the noble enterprise I don't know; but the uncle of our manager
was leader of that lot.
"In exterior he resembled a butcher in a poor neighbourhood, and his eyes had
a look of sleepy cunning. He carried his fat paunch with ostentation on his short legs,
and during the time his gang infested the station spoke to no one but his nephew.
You could see these two roaming about all day long with their heads close together
in an everlasting confab.
"I had given up worrying myself about the rivets. One's capacity for that kind of folly
is more limited than you would suppose. I said Hang!—and let things slide.
I had plenty of time for meditation, and now and then I would give some thought to Kurtz.
I wasn't very interested in him. No. Still, I was curious to see whether this man,
who had come out equipped with moral ideas of some sort, would climb to the top
after all and how he would set about his work when there."
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Part 2]
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